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February,
2004 Welcome
to Leadership Hand™, a monthly e-newsletter To ensure receipt, please add our e-mail address "Info@" plus our domain name to your e-mail address book. 1. Pine Trees Uprooted: The Folly of Self-Sufficiency There is a small wood near my home in Alexandria, Virginia that's a respite for a handful of people and our dogs. Tall pines mixed among hardwoods scent the air. Their needles cushion several paths--with each step there is a fraction of a second's delay as they give--ever so gently--until you rest on terra firma. The whole wood is like that--receiving you and letting you rest. Over the years one pine after another has tumbled. Some trees snap off mid-height during storms but more uproot and fall over leaving a surprisingly small root system exposed. When a corporate or personal storm arrives, if you are like the pines you too may be uprooted. I used to consider myself more oak than pine--I was so wrong. I had honed self-sufficiency to a fine art. Safely ensconced in it, I relied upon my position, intellect and perseverance to get things done while keeping a wary distance from those around me. Intimacy and vulnerability were for my personal friends and had no place at work. I survived and would have continued to do so--at a cost. When I started my own business that strategy no longer worked. Around every corner there were situations I hadn't been in, where I needed people who had been there before or at least understood where "there" was--not just in expertise but emotionally too. I squirmed, I wrung my hands. I was gravely serious when I asked for help lest the person think I wasn't willing to do the work on my own. Now, really--who in their right mind would ever expect a person in a new role to know it before she'd ever been in it? But I did--I had the expectation I should have known how to start-up a business successfully before ever having done so. What's my advice to those of you who are highly self-sufficient? (If you really pride yourself on your self-sufficiency there's a clue you may be in a danger zone.) Start growing your roots--discover the strength in vulnerability. That's going to look, sound and feel differently for each person. For me, it was learning to regularly ask for help and a willingness to say "I don't know" and "I don't know and it feels uncomfortable not to know." That might be getting a mentor outside your organization. (See? I really do know the game well--I suggest someone outside because for you, someone inside your organization might mean a level of vulnerability you're not willing to risk. In some organizations, that may be with good reason but it could also be an unrealistic assessment on your part.) That might be that for the next month you commit to revealing more of yourself at work--where you don't know, where you are uncertain or maybe, that you engage in (heaven forbid!) chit chat for the purposes of connecting with someone around you. So, a humble,
sincere thank you to Anne Aden, Alexandria Hilton, Wendy Capland,
Steve Levin, Pete Walsh, Molly Gordon www.mollygordon.com,
Trish Silber, Dave Herring, Diana Shafer, Nancy and Dennis Belmont
www.belmontdesign.com
, Nancy Chisolm, Debbie Holcombe, Jane Hellewell, Bill Hand, May your roots grow strong! Beth Hand © Copyright 2007, Beth Hand. Beth Hand, MBA helps leaders increase their effectiveness and satisfaction, now and for the future. She can be reached at (+1) 703.820.8074 or via her website www.leadershiphand.com.
In the January issue of Leadership Hand I wrote about how the formation of weedlines in the Gulf Stream is similar to how our thoughts form beliefs. I received a call from someone who read that issue and he shared a moving story. In World War II, his plane crashed near Iceland. Had it not been for the warmer waters of the Gulf Stream, neither he nor some of the crash survivors would have lived the 3 days they were adrift before being rescued. 3. Resource: Executive Networking Living in or traveling to the Richmond, Virginia area? Join other executives in a monthly meeting to manage your career and build your business network. For location and details, go to www.leadershiphand.com/resources. 4. Reprint Permission This is a copyrighted publication. You are welcome to reprint an issue on a non-exclusive basis provided you:
5. Subscribe • Privacy Click here to subscribe. To unsubscribe click on the link below. We value your privacy. We never redistribute, rent or sell your information to anyone or any entity. We
invite you to forward this issue to your colleagues! |
Ruth
Hanks, Yvonne Lynn, Walter Boyden, Joanne Lozar Glenn |
© Copyright 2004, Hand Associates and Beth Hand • All Rights Reserved Hand
Associates, LLC Leadership
Coaching & Development |
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