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January,
2006 Welcome
to Leadership Hand™, a monthly e-newsletter To ensure receipt, please white-list our address by adding "Info@" plus our domain name to your e-mail address book. 1. For Women Only: It's Okay to Be Endearing This is… for women only. And not even all women. Just those who use super-competence and savvy as their modus operandi en route to a C-level sweet spot--one of the top positions in corporate leadership. Remember John Molloy's Dress for Success? I laugh now to think how it guided my "I mean serious business" corporate uniform. Suits, high necklines, conservative jewelry and never any "toe cleavage" such as open-toed shoes would so scandalously reveal. How about Games Mother Never Taught You, or more recently, Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman or Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office? The war was on. It was a white male world and I had to be armed with my intellect and clear-headed, unemotional thinking. Never was it safe to reveal the softer side in the office. Five years ago, I softened some by moving from being inside an organization to heading my own small business, and by committing to developing as an executive coach. Softened some. Over coffee one day while I described a business goal with great intensity, David Annunziata, a colleague, said, "Beth, it's okay to be endearing." You know how it is when you hear a truth? Everything seems to stop around you. If you even hear sounds, each one becomes individual. A super slow-motion choreography of the internal and external--sound, thought, sensation, movement--occurs like a peak athletic experience. Having been a consumer of self-improvement processes and practices from the bleeding edge to the time-tested, tried and true, for as long as I can remember, I can speak with decent authority about what works and what doesn't for creating lasting personal change. And about how long change takes and how long it doesn't. When you hear a truth--and granted, your ability to hear depends on your readiness--it can change you in an instant. David's words did that for me. Continuous super-competence and clear-headed logic became too exhausting to sustain. Even so, it wasn't and isn't always easy being a different way in the world. You feel a lot more. You uncover a tenderness that you realize you've been protecting all along. The rewards, however, are more joy with fewer battles, influence without burned bridges, and most exquisitely of all, a greater personal power that requires no translation--it is so beautifully received in the world. As Polonius tells his son Laertes in Hamlet:
You'll find that your own truth will be a little lighter, a little looser and a lot more fun. You'll become more real and yes, there will be symptoms signaling the transformation. In my case, (though I hesitate to share some of them--if you're a woman still vested in unemotional, super-competence or just beginning to transition, they may send you running from the very thing I'd like to encourage you to open to),
It's OK to be endearing--in discovering that very simple truth about being real, my competence surpassed what I had achieved through intellect and savvy alone. In my coaching and consulting, it seems that people find me a trusted catalyst for what I hope is the best of soft and hard--a compassionate, clear, even loving, perspective that moves us all forward. Daily I connect with what is even more important than the work we think is our work.
Here's to Endearing... Beth Hand © Copyright 2007, Beth Hand. Beth Hand, MBA helps leaders increase their effectiveness and satisfaction, now and for the future. She can be reached at (+1) 703.820.8074 or via her website www.leadershiphand.com. 2. Reprint Permission This is a copyrighted publication. You are welcome to reprint an issue on a non-exclusive basis provided you:
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The
proverbial bushel has been tossed: the light is bright, and the
laughter lovely. Trust and let yours be, too.|
© Copyright 2006, Hand Associates and Beth Hand • All Rights Reserved Hand
Associates, LLC Leadership
Coaching & Development |
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