Did anyone ever tell you how much courage it would take to be human?
If no one ever told you, if you never paused to reflect on this, you do not realize how extraordinarily adaptable and resilient you are.
No one ever told me how much courage it would take, so I never really knew my adaptability or resilience. I also fell prey to comparison. Still do.
I compared myself to those souls who are like a lighthouse in a storm. They stand tall on a firm foundation… a beacon of hope guiding ships to safety amidst a raging storm.
Instead, I was the one in the boat, helping my crew yes, but feeling at the mercy of the waves and the terrifying uncertainty of whether I could get us all safely to the harbor.
The gift in this is a mixed blessing as gifts so frequently are. I developed a high degree of empathy for others. Staying grounded and useful makes tending to my mental, physical, and emotional well-being a must.
You Have Weathered Unimaginable Storms Before
You have weathered unimaginable storms. Some of you have lived and worked in conflict regions around the world. Some of you experienced your workplace or your family as a conflict region.
You have weathered the storms that come with simply being alive. The smaller ones that seemed huge because, well, they were at the time.
Remember when you were a ‘tween and you had to have those shoes or those jeans or that backpack—the brand everyone else was wearing and that made you cool or at least, not an outcast… It seemed life or death at the time.
You’ve weathered the big storms: the deaths of family, friends, or beloved animals. Financial challenges. Business or career upheaval. Health challenges—your own or of those you love. You have navigated all of these and more.
If you doubt your strength, can you look around and see these attributes of adaptability and resilience in others? They probably can’t see it in themselves the way you do. And that’s the point: we can’t fully see ourselves in all our glory. If we are lucky, we live and we grow. What was insurmountable, we surmounted. We transmute lead into gold.
A Strategy Is Key But, Your Well-being Is the Power Source
No doubt about it when you are in a crisis or upheaval, you’ve got to pivot. That means a new or revised strategy is key. It must be based on the current ocean you’re navigating in. Your well-being is the power source for creating it and executing it.
So, here’s what I can offer you—whether you are like me—fearing the sky has fallen when an acorn dropped on your head (in which case you’re probably an outstanding strategist who comes up with contingency plans), or when the sky actually is falling…
1. Give Yourself Grace
Let go of any self-denigrating expectation like “I should be handling this better” or whatever your “should” is. You are in crisis.
When my father was dying, I called one of my BFFs. “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough,” I said. “You don’t have to be strong. You just have to be present,” she said.
Before you try to get someplace different than the maelstrom you find yourself in, be where you are. Trauma, fear, anxiety, and all. Try to be present.
We often don’t learn new things about ourselves until our systems are in overwhelm. That’s when you will find out about yourself. I hope you come to be one of your own biggest fans! That may not be today. It may not be next week. Give yourself time to realize you are alive. Breathing. You can swim even if it’s a half-hearted dog paddle. You can navigate the stormy, changing waters.
2. When You Think You Have No Control
When a dramatic business- or career-threatening event occurs, test this mindset if just for a minute. Ask yourself “What if this is happening for me, not to me?” It won’t be like a light switch you flip that stays on. It’ll be like that wonky switch with the loose connection you should have had rewired. You’ll have to jiggle it to turn that light on where you see, if only for the briefest moment, a tiny possibility or the glimmer of path forward. Keep flipping. Keep jiggling. You will rise to the occasion to discover something meaningful and enduring from this experience.
3. Engage in Radical Self-Care
Our physical, mental, and emotional well-being has a direct impact on our ability to create and pivot. In a crisis, our well-being requires we engage in radical self-care and that we have a large toolkit.
You’ll have your go-to tools. At other times, you’ll need to use everything in the toolkit and need more. Here are a few examples from the groups I’ve worked with: taking a walk; journaling; meditating or listening to a meditation app; doing yoga; participating in a spiritual or support community; hard exercise; gentle exercise; “box breathing”, and writing a daily gratitude list. List everything in yours and work your list.
For some people, when there is a widespread event affecting a company, an industry-wide ecosystem, or a region, helping others who are in the same storm is a power tool in their well-being toolkit. You can be that person, or you can appreciate maybe even support the person who is. There’s meaning and an exquisite symbiosis in both roles.
Have Hope Even If It’s a Sticky Note in Your Calendar
You may feel like you are in survival mode. You may feel traumatized. Allow yourself those feelings. Get a calendar out, put the word Hope on a sticky note, and put it in the calendar a year from now. Let the calendar hold that possibility even if your head and heart can’t. Light and air will come. Borrow my faith in you if you need to. You are more adaptable and resilient than you can know. Practice radical self-care and encourage others to do so. What you will discover as you navigate the storm will pay off for a lifetime.
